Deflated....

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?That's horse showing. Why is that sad? There are ups and downs. It's like life,? he said. ?Horses are a reflection of life and it isn't up, up, up, up, up. I'm very sorry, but that's horse showing. I've been to a lot of horse shows. I'll tell you that it is not all up. Mostly it is down and sometimes it's up.? .... "There's not one reason because each horse had their moment. And each horse didn't have their moments.? - George Morris

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I can't tell you why my horse stopped in the show jumping - Karen can't either - she didn't "miss", she'd be the first to admit that and others would have told her. The horse isn't a "stopper" in the show jumping - he never has stopped in the show jumping before; in fact the only faults the horse has had all year in the show jumping have been in that ring... two down at Rolex and the 12 faults at the Worlds.... Many think he never understood the "black gate" as when she came back to jump it he still ran through it... it happened, Karen knows she's responsible - be easier to know why it happened.

She finished 1 place behind Phillip in 19th - at the World Championships.... 19th in the WORLD - I am proud of my horse - and my rider.

There hasn't been much sleep in the last few nights here in The Plains... the image haunts us - sadly we have trouble remembering how foot perfect Doodle was on Saturday.... How brave he was to trot up the best of all the US horses Sunday morning and how foot perfect he was for all but 1 jump on Sunday.... We can't take it back -

My Dad know nothing about horses... well - he knows that they eat and poop and rule my life. He called me Monday to say how he was sorry that Mandiba stopped, but how great was that the the team moved up from 7th to 4th.... Ya know what?!!! He's right - we still finished 4th. We would have loved to finish 3rd (which is the best we would have finished if Karen jumped clear) but we finished as a team - and we are qualified for the Olympics... no medal, but a future!!!

Ups and Downs - Ups and downs...

Up - Boyd Martin - classy guy - Funny, supportive, hard working... slept in his trailer all during training camp to save money; Ran everyday to say fit, he knows he's a tall guy on a little horse and wanted to give him every advantage; True horseman - I look forward to knowing him more.

Up - Sarah Ike - USEF eventing team leader - busting butt to keep everyone organized and happy from owners to riders to significant others... with little to know thanks - Like herding kittens... from official entries to making sure there is water in the coolers at the barn and all in between.

Up - Brendon Furlong, Steve Teachman, Dougie Hannom - you may ask - who?! The can't do anything without them team of support crew... these guys are the best in the world at their job - and great friends.

Up - My very own family that I have missed all year during this journey - they aren't horse people at all, but they watched, cheered and loved me through this year... I love them them so much for being MY support crew.

We need more competitive horses in the country; we need continued hard work; we need positive thoughts - what happened has happened and you cant take it back....

This is my journal - my thoughts and my ideas that someone has asked me to share... its personal and please respect it - there are very few people know me, my family, my dog, my likes and dislikes, my passions and my fears, well most people know I am scared of the dark - we are all people and we all have feelings. We hurt, we cry, we feel, we suffer, we smile, we enjoy, we celebrate, we are human - mistakes or perfection.

Good luck shout to Sinead, Will, Doug and Tiana who are having an adventure to Holland leaving Saturday to compete at Boekelo... Nat - stay away from the Pirates of the Caribbean at the wax museum... could make one sick -

Off to Fair Hill next week.... its another horse show - lets hope for an "UP"

More soon....