Kimberly and I replayed Kit getting injured over and over in our heads. We felt guilty for her getting hurt. We also felt stupid for being angry at Vander. I felt even stupider when I realized what I wanted most was to give Vander the cold shoulder and have him notice. Maybe I thought he'd be prompted to ask, "What's wrong, Jeremy?" Then I could tell him he really hurt Kit, and I was very disappointed in his choice of actions. Then perhaps I'd also inform him he was grounded for a few weeks with no TV or Internet privileges.
I couldn't step back from the Vander in my head to see the Vander in front of me. I was having trouble stripping away all the unrealistic attributes and thoughts I'd ascribed to our horse. Honestly, I think when Vander charged, he expected Kit to get scared and flee. Vander seemed somewhat surprised when he ran into her. He definitely had the opportunity to deliver a kick--a kick that could have easily killed Kit. Things could have been much worse.
I remembered another event from just a few years back when Kimberly went over Vander's head while landing a jump during a show. She flipped over his head and landed directly in his path. In mid-step, he spread his front legs to avoid stepping on her and stopped immediately. The dust cleared, and Vander was staring down at Kimberly, who lay winded underneath him. I honestly thought he looked concerned. I also thought Vander looked relieved moments later when the trainer and I helped Kimberly up. He held his unnatural landing pose until we were all out of the way.
As I thought about it, the less he seemed like a bully and the more he seemed like a normal--and occasionally compassionate--horse.
Kit came home a few days ago after a brief stay with our vet. She was lucky enough to keep the eye, and she got plenty of pain pills. Of course, Kit is not so excited about spending a few weeks wearing a gigantic, plastic Elizabethan collar around her neck. The vision in her left eye is gone, but the collar does a good job of keeping her from bumping her head or scratching her eye.
Last night Kit ate her favorite rib eye-flavored mush and played a little with her green teddy bear. I thought she seemed preoccupied, so I pulled her aside briefly for a little father-daughter talk. I promised her that when she's emotionally ready, she and Vander can meet to discuss rebuilding their relationship. I know Kit's worried about it. I mean, she tells me she's been sleeping well, but that's probably just the pain pills knocking her out. I know this situation will take some extra special care, but it's worth it. I want our dog to feel at ease about her future.
Jeremy Law and his wife, Kimberly, live on a small farm in North Carolina with their two cats, two dogs and two horses.
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