After another two sleepless nights, I returned to the barn. The good news was that she had not gotten worse the previous day when I was not there, but this day, Thursday, we thought that she was in heat. The vet said, this could be the next symptom, loss of bladder function. Therefore, we did a test and determined that she was in heat.
Friday started normally, until about 11 a.m. Just as I was about to leave for a show, the vet called, saying that Focus was not in heat; she had lost bladder function and it was overflowing. He told me that the risk of infection was too high and that he no longer wanted to assume responsibility, because he couldn't keep this problem under control. He said that Focus should go directly into the university clinic.
In the clinic, they inserted a catheter and drained 12 liters of urine. Later that night, they catheterized her again, draining another 10 liters. The vets informed me that it looked like she had contracted the herpes virus and, when it progressed, I would have to consider euthanizing her.
By Sunday, she was able to urinate on her own again. Although she had regained bladder function, she was still not able to walk and did not trust herself to lie down or roll. The idea of losing Focus was too much; I did not know what to do. After a week in the clinic, Focus was a little better but still not well. Finally after 10 days, Focus regained coordination in her hind legs but lost her balance through turns. She was still stiff and dragging both feet on the ground. After 12 days, I was able to take her out of the clinic and put her back in quarantine. Once she was back in the quarantine facility, I was able to fly home.
I am back in Canada after two years in Germany. All I can do for Focus is hope. It is still unclear if she will be rideable again. In these two years I sacrificed many things: my university education, my life savings and myself. Focus had reached the Young Rider level, and my goals had been to complete at the Canadian Young Rider Championships this year, the North American Championships next year and, if all went as planned, the Young Rider World Cup in Germany. In the blink of an eye, it was all taken away. In the course of three weeks, I went from being on Cloud 9 with the world in front of me to being depressed from not knowing if I will ever be able to ride Focus again.
To this day, we do not know where or how Focus caught the virus. We know that the strain she caught is one that cannot be vaccinated against and is also not contagious. Just like in people, many horses have the virus inside their bodies. But it is through stress, illness and other combined circumstances that the virus becomes active. In Focus' rare case, it mutated and became the extreme neurological form.
I am now looking forward to getting Focus home, where I can nurture her and give her the best chances for recovery. I am hoping that somehow good will come out of this horrific situation.
