Back at the Barn
Horses have the same anxiety about being separated when they're back at the barn as when they're out on the trail. The solution is still a matter of using repeated small separations to let the horse learn that being separated isn't the crisis he thinks it is.
If your horse is "barn sour," then prior to the "sour" lesson, you'll want to tune up his response to your "speed up" cue. When you squeeze your legs to tell him to go forward, he should increase his leg speed right away. Squeeze or kick gently until he gives you one faster stride, then let your legs hang quietly.
Until you have that cue down pat, there's no sense in trying to ride him away from the barn. Your horse will either disregard your leg cue, or he'll end up backing up.
The same is true if you are trying to lead your horse away from the barn. Tune up your "go forward" cue, tapping his hip with a short whip to tell him to step forward, and ceasing your taps the moment he does. Ride or lead your horse 10 feet from the barn, and then return to the barn. Work up to moving 20 feet away, then 10 feet for 10 seconds, and so forth.
What if the "sour" horse is the one left behind at the barn? Use the same program, keeping him busy answering your phone calls as someone else leads or rides his buddy 10 feet away. Remember to hang up the phone-release the lead rope or rein-each time your horse does what you ask, regardless of where the other horse is.
Vary the distance and time away to allow the horse to get ever-so-slightly upset and then calm again. If he gets full-blown upset, you've pushed it too far. You need more short-term and short-distance separations.
Horses don't like to be upset any more than people do. Imagine that terrible feeling when your stomach does flips, like when you think you almost nodded off at the wheel or you said something really stupid. Now imagine that your brain said, "Never mind. False alarm." Your stomach would have sarcastically said, "Thanks a lot." Imagine that happens time and time again. After about the fifth time, when your brain sends the get-upset signal, your stomach will say," Why bother?" And it doesn't react.
That's what you're going to do with this lesson. You'll separate the horses just enough to get them to worry, and then bring them back together quickly enough that worrying was a waste. That emotional roller coaster is hard to take, so the horses will learn to remain calm-to wait and see if separating is worth getting upset about. In the meanwhile, of course, your cues will put them under momentary pressure and then release them from that pressure. That cue and release will be a distraction from the emotional upset, and will actually work in your favor.
Now that the theory and the first turn are behind you, let's have some fun. Talk with your partner about how you are going to separate the horses for a moment at a time. It could be that you both turn away. It could be that one of you does. Perhaps instead of turning 360 degrees, one of you sidepasses six feet away, you ride parallel to each other for a few feet, and then come back together again. Whatever your plan, make sure it involves separating for a few seconds, and then coming back together. And be sure that you keep both horses busy obeying your cues, just as when you first practiced.
When you've done all that enough that both horses stay calm when being separated, you're ready to make the separations longer. You have two ways to do this. The first involves the distance from each other, and the second is the time apart. One of you should ride about 10 feet from the other, and then return. Then ride away for 20 feet and return. Then ride away for 10 feet, stay away for 10 seconds, and then return.
When everything goes well at 10 feet, work up to 20, then 40 feet and so forth. Ride around natural obstacles such as trees, hills or rocks to help make things interesting for you and to keep your horse focused on where he's going. When the horse gets upset, don't scold him; instead, give him little jobs to do…. "I know you want to see the other horse, but for now do this, good, now do that, good," etc. Eventually, you'll work up to where you can separate for minutes at a time, and one of you can get out of sight of the other.
Be sure to keep your horse engaged, so working with you becomes the alternative to getting upset. It may take more than one session, and your horse may seem fine for a while, then get "buddy sour" again. Don't let that sour your own attitude. Instead, use it as an excuse to have a fun exercise with your own buddy and to improve your horse's training and your rapport with him at the same time.
