Imagine a world in which the horses said, "Jump!" and the owners said, "How high?" That's essentially what happens when an owner quits being the active partner in a rider-horse relationship and becomes the reactive partner.
I can mentally see some heads nodding, thinking, "Yup, my horse has done a good job of training me."
Perhaps in addition to being your trainer, he's also a good pointer, pointing out everything that could possibly be scary on your ride. "Look at that!" he seems to say as he freezes at some imagined or at least invisible distraction in the bushes ahead. Our natural response is to focus on the bushes, to try to figure out if the threat is real, and if it's something our horse is likely
to have an even bigger reaction to when he finally sees it.
There are plenty of other ways in which we can slip into being a reactive rider, and we'll explore them in the next few pages. But here's the bottom line: Even though being a reactive rider isn't safe or fun, it's normal. Don't beat yourself up about it. Becoming a better rider is all about replacing our natural behavior with improved responses. And once you realize where you are in the reactivity scale, you can make changes and it will seem as if your horse's training improved overnight.
Active Is in Control
Any time you have two people, one takes the lead and the other responds. In many situations, the lead goes back and forth, with each one being dominant in his or her area of expertise, like a debate in which both sides are about even. But most often, people slip into the pattern of one person taking charge and the other reacting or responding to the first one's direction.
Think of a driver and passenger in a vehicle. The driver should be making the decisions, since she's the one at the wheel. When the passenger is reading the map and just reminding the driver of the exit they're to take or letting her know how many miles they have to go, the driver is still the active partner, making the real-time decisions.
Put the Fun Back into Riding
- Tell your horse what to do, not what not to do.
- Mentally look ahead, so you can get your horse involved in responding to you rather than the environment.
- Use simple cues, and tell the horse one thing at a time.
- Ride more accurately, and notice small improvements.
- Quit blaming or using excuses. Relax and enjoy the day.
But when the passenger is "back-seat driving," we mean that she's calling the shots regarding the real-time decisions: "Watch out for that truck," "Hurry up and pass that car," "Don't drive so slowly." If that pattern goes on for very long, the driver's reflexes lose their edge because, instead of taking responsibility for the decisions, the driver becomes more passive, reacting to everything on the road.
Often the active partner doesn't take control by what he says, but by his behavior. The dog who relentlessly tugs at his leash, dragging his owner around, isn't barking orders. He's just doing his thing, and the owner reacts to it. Even though the owner may think he's walking the dog, in reality, he's let the dog set the agenda. The dog determines where he wants to sniff, and the owner follows.
Occasionally, the dog will get too energetic, and the owner will react, usually by jerking the leash or yelling at the dog. When you think about it, that doesn't look much like leadership - and it isn't.
But it is an attempt to regain control. The problem is, you can't lead by pitching a fit, venting your frustration, or punishing the dog. Those methods only create upset, even though there may be a "cease-fire" momentarily. It's sort of like throwing a bigger tantrum than a child's might get him to stop screaming long enough to see what you're doing.
