Buddy Sour
We're going to use the same philosophy in working with the horse who thinks he's joined at the hip to his buddy and that separation means death. Substitute the word "buddy" for "barn" and you have the idea. But we're not going to start 10 feet from the buddy. We're going to start with the two horses side by side.
This is a great lesson to do with a riding friend, as it's good practice for both horses and fun to have someone to work with. If you're not riding, though, you can have someone lead the other horse or you can both work from the ground. Just be careful regarding how you position yourselves, as horses sometimes strike or kick when they get upset.
Start out in an arena or safe place to work, such as a familiar trail. Coordinate the game plan before you begin. Ride side by side and, on the count of three, each of you turn your horses to the outside (tail to tail) and then immediately turn toward each other and ride forward. That alone will create a few giggles. Keep at it until you can coordinate it well, with the horses' heads at the elevation you want. Work toward making beautiful turns. (Pretend you're in the movies.)
As you might guess, the next steps involve making the turns wider, separating the horses by a few feet and then coming back together. Coordinate the distance with your friend so that your horse reacts by raising his head, which gives you the chance to ask him to drop it. Mentally picture him flexing emotional muscles. You want to strengthen the "calm down" muscles, so that requires lots of repetition.
You want the horse to get worried, but not truly upset. If the horse gets upset, you've gone too far, too fast. If everything goes smoothly with the first few turns, you'll be tempted to rush things. Keep in mind that you're trying to build a base and at the same time improve your horse's response to specific cues.
Now you're going to play with distance and time. Can you ride your horse parallel to your friend's, but 10 feet from him? Try to do that for five seconds, and then come back together. Then ride parallel for five feet, then turn your horse away from your friend's and then back to the five-foot distance. One time, have both horses turn and the next time only one.
Ride away from the other horse at a 45-degree angle for 30 feet, then turn and meet him back on the path. Have your friend do the same thing. When that's working well, ride your horse away from the other horse, ride a small circle and then come back together. Ride around a bush, and eventually work up to where you can ride out of sight of the other horse, but for just a moment before returning.
When you two are old pros at the exercise, you can add changes of direction and speed. Ask your friend to stop her horse while you keep riding yours forward. That will test your leg cues, as your horse will likely think he should stay with his buddy.
When that goes smoothly, have the friend ride away and you stay behind. Don't just stand there, though, waiting for your horse to react. You'll want to have him working really well and engaged in answering your requests. When you feel that you have his full attention, that's the moment to tell your friend to leave. Improvise as you improve, separating the horses for more time and longer distances.
You may have started this exercise as a way to solve a problem, but we can guarantee that you'll have fun with it. We can't advise you about your husband or daughter, but you may find that you have the separation problem at the end - you and your riding partner.
